Recently, I
posted a blurb on Facebook about the prayer rock that Harry moved into a new
place for me. I thought I would share the backstory of how I got the prayer
rock and some of the experiences I have had there over the years. This will be a little more biographical than
just gardening. Be forewarned.
I think it
must have been in the late 1980’s that Harry bought a new Massey Ferguson
tractor that had a big front-end loader on it. This works like a bucket and can
be moved up and down to move material. I
don’t know why we were riding around in the pasture on the tractor; maybe so he
could “play” with the new loader and show me his skills. The far border of our farm property is a
stream. It is not a very bold stream and
is spring-fed in several places, but in one particular place there was a
natural waterfall and many large rocks along the bank. I am pretty sure that some of these large
rocks are part of some of the same boulders that we used to make my rock retaining
wall and all might have originated from the same geological event at some time
in the long past. Anyway, Harry saw a
large flat rock and said he thought that if he could get it with the bucket, it
would make a nice seat or focal point for my garden area. Even then, he knew the way to my heart was
with rocks! So, after much maneuvering
and manipulation with the bucket, the large flat rock and several others were
transported to the house. We set up the
rock seat near the edge of the woods that border our yard and there it sat for
many years. It was only recently that it
got a new place in the garden.
It didn’t
start out as a “prayer rock”, only a nice flat rock that was nice to sit upon
and reflect. But it is hard for me to be outside in nature, listening to the
birds, smelling the fragrant flowers, looking at the blue sky and the mountains
in the distance without my thoughts and my adoration turning to God. And so, over the years, the rock became for
me, a place where I could sit and commune with God. But there have been times
when instead of communing, I cried out in pain, sadness, bewilderment, and
faith.
My mother went
going through a battle with cancer, which ultimately took her life and over the
approximately three years she was sick, I found many occasions to sit on the
rock and pray for her healing, her comfort, and at last, her deliverance. During those long days, I would sit on the
rock and ask God to guide me and help me to be a good daughter to her and do
everything I could to honor her and help her last days be as happy and free
from worry as could be. Mama showed us
all how a Christian approaches death with faithfulness and grace. I like to think that that the faith that
sustained me through that time came, in part from sitting on the prayer rock
and talking it through with God.
Fast
forward several years, and I was serving as principal at New Prospect
Elementary School. I had been principal there
for 8 years, and during that last that year, I had become burdened and
convinced in my heart that my effectiveness and leadership were waning. I have an educational administrative theory
that the longer a person remains as a principal in the same school, sometimes
it becomes harder to make the tough decisions that have to be made. Over time,
you become close to the people in the school, you live through many life
experiences with them, and you become friends and family. That makes it hard to
lead and even harder to have those tough conversations with friends and even
harder with family. But as the leader of
a school, you have to be able to do this if the organization is to continue to
thrive and goals met. So that is where I was in early spring 1999. It may not be true for every administrator
but for me, I was becoming increasingly aware that I needed to make a change. However,
I did not want to leave District One.
I remember sitting on the prayer rock one cold
day in early spring when I got home from school and having a very frank
conversation with God. “God, you know
that I am not feeling good about my leadership at New Prospect. And you also
know that I am not applying for jobs, I don’t ever want to leave District One,
and I am really at a loss. So, I’m
giving it all to you. If you want me to
be principal at New Prospect, then you give me some assurance that I am doing
the right thing and I am going to give it all and be the best one I can
possibly be. But, if you don’t want me
to be principal there, then you are going to have to take care of it because I
am giving it to you!” It was certainly
an audacious way to talk to God, but I think He appreciates our honesty and our
frankness with Him. I gave it to Him, and quite honestly, forgot about it.
Over the
next few months, I dove deep into planning for the next three to five years of
things I wanted the school to accomplish and the direction I wanted us to go. I wanted the school to be a Palmetto’s Finest
winner. I went so far as to say we
should be a National Blue Ribbon School! I met with teachers and enlisted their
help with where I thought the school should go and how we would get there. I
felt confident, renewed, and ready to face the next few years at New
Prospect. Apparently, God wanted me to
stay right there!
Then,
something happened that I could never have anticipated and even today it
remains one of those singular life events that will always be a bad memory. A disgruntled employee accused me of
something that could ultimately cost my position and bring much discredit to
the school. Over a period of about 10
days, while we were dealing with the allegations, I spent many an hour sitting on
the prayer rock in anguish with God. I couldn’t believe that this was
happening. I am basically a very
trusting person, and it is hard for me to recognize when people are just bad,
evil, and manipulative. I couldn’t
believe that an employee would be so vindictive as to accuse me of a crime.
I distinctly
remember sitting on the prayer rock and crying out to God. “God! I know I said if you didn’t want me to
be principal of New Prospect, you would have to take care of it…but I never
meant that I wanted to go to jail!” I
can laugh about that now, but I wasn’t laughing then.
I was able
to weather that particular episode, but that is not the point of sharing this
experience. Many times we offer up
prayers to God and then try to answer the prayer ourselves. I had forgotten about the prayer and
challenge I gave to Him. God does hear
our prayers and He answers them in His own time, and often in ways that we
could never dream of. If I have learned
anything in the experiences I have had in my Christian walk, it is that we
can’t fathom how God works so that is why we just have to trust Him. His ways are not our ways and we can’t even
imagine how He makes provisions for us. Remember, I said to God while sitting
on the prayer rock…”God if you don’t want me to be principal of New Prospect,
you take care of it. I’m giving it to
you.”
Certainly,
that was the last thing on my mind as I struggled with the allegations of that
former employee.
The middle
of May arrived and I was deep into planning for the next year, testing, and end
of year activities. Sadly, the mother of
one of our teachers passed away quite unexpectedly. The Superintendent and I were going to another
city to visit with the family. I
remarked that I had read where a longstanding principal in another good Spartanburg
County school district had resigned to go to a place I considered less desirable
to work. “I could possibly see myself
leaving New Prospect to go to District ______maybe, but down there? I don’t think I could do that.”
He looked
over at me and said, “Well do you see yourself leaving New Prospect to go to
Mabry?” Well, suffice it to say that
knocked me for a loop and it was one of the rare times I was left speechless. As far as I knew, there wasn’t a vacancy at
Mabry.
Then I
heard a still small voice speaking in my right ear. Really, that is what
happened. “Cathy, you gave it to
me.” That was all. “Cathy, you gave it to me.”
Then and
there, I knew that God had heard my prayers, and even though I thought that He
had forgotten that bold challenge I had issued to Him, He had not. I knew that the Superintendent didn’t say
things like that without meaning it. I
knew what he was asking. And there was no stalling for time or asking for time
to talk it over with anyone. I knew that God had spoken and that He was in the
midst of this conversation.
I looked at
the Superintendent and replied, “Well, I have always said that I would do
whatever God and ________ _______ asked
me to do.” His response to me, which we still laugh about it today, was, “ I
don’t know about God, but this is__________ talking!” On June 14, 1999, I was named principal at
Mabry Junior High School.
Psalm 62:7
On God my
salvation and my glory rest;
The rock of
my strength, my refuge is in God.
Psalm 62:2
He only is my
rock and my salvation,
My stronghold;
I shall not be greatly shaken.
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